*Words to Live By?*



- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken

  fan belt and a flat tire.



- It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going

to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.



- Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you

can't be promoted.



- No one is listening until you make a mistake.



- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.



- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.



- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to

serve as a warning to others.



- It is far more impressive when others discover your

good qualities without your help.



- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple

of car payments.



- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their

shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away

and you have their shoes.



- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.



- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.



- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person

again, it was probably worth it.



- Don't squat with your spurs on.



- If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.



- Some days you are the bug, some days you are the

windshield.



- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it

in half and put it back in your pocket.



- Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side and

a dark side, and it holds the universe together

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